Au'Naturel - meaning in a natural state...so natural. Not naked.
Moves Like Jagger.
Posted by Brianna at 5:54 PM
This past weekend, my cuz Daniel Cody Heavy Loady, got married. My folka-dillies did ALL of the food, and the fan-flippin-tastic cake. Eet ees beautiful, no? Those flowers.....are made from gum paste. Handmade, edible(taste like garbage) flowers?! A thing of genius. Genius I tell you!
N-e-wayz. So, in addition to this yummy cake, they catered the meal for the reception. Bar-be-que brisket, garlic mashed potatoes, and green beans. How many vegans does it take to cut the fat, cartiledge and veiny thingys off a brisket? *Gag* The answer is, 3.
My parents are just amazing. AH-MAZING! I'm a little biased.
The wedding, was beautiful. Daniel Cody Heavy Loady, and his bride Gina are just the cutest couple. Their reception featured food, cake, dancing, and adult beverage. Ahem.
So, to get the dancing festivities off to a start, there was a Bride/Groom dance, Father/Daughter dance, and then they opened up the floor. I was sitting with my kiddos and hubs when the music started pumping. People filled the dance floor, showing off their sad dancing skillz. Wes jumped up, grabs my hand and says, "Mommy, will you dance with me?" I choked back a few tears and smiled. "You bet your bippy I will!" Emma joined, and we danced the night away.
For those of you who are thinking, "Sacreligious! Dancing, is evil." I can assure you, that the intentions of my 3 year old and 1 year old, were purely innocent. We were just having a good ole time.
As far as dancing the night away, when you're 3 and 1, 8:30pm is a late night. Top night! Top night!
Congrats to you Daniel and Gina.
Flop the Parkway
Posted by Brianna at 12:53 PM
This past weekend I ran the Rock the Parkway Half Marathon. That's 13.1miles of pure atrocity. Pain. Exhaustion. Fatigue. More pain. I had never actually ran 13 miles...ever. But the weekend prior I ran 11, figuring if I could do 11, then the adrenaline pump of the race would push me the last 2.1. Not so. The adrenaline stopped at about mile, 2. People think that running is physical, saying things like, "Oh I could never do that, I am too out of shape!" But what they fail to realize, is that running is 90% mental and only 10% physical. No. Lie. I fought my head the whole darn tootin' (literally) time. Every now and then I would see a spectator holding a sign that would make me laugh, and it would change the focus of my thoughts, which helped. Here are what some of the signs said:
"Your feet hurt from kicking so much asphalt!"
"Worst parade ever!"
"I thought they said 1.31 miles."
"You've got stamina! Call me! (insert phone number)"
"13.1 only half crazy." -This one actually irritated me, cuz I felt 100% nuts doing it.
"If Romney can run, so can you!" (I have no presidential candidate preference, but it just caught me as funny, you laugh at just about anything when you're delirious)
"Don't POOP!....Out"
That last one about pooping.....let's talk about that. Pooping, that is. People who have never ran, have never experienced the all to common phenomenon of the "runner's trot". What?! Laying cable. Dropping the kids off at the pool. Making a Gomer Pyle. The list goes on. So runner's trot happens when you drink and don't have anything in your tummy tum to absorb the liquid. Thus causing, nearly projectile BM. Jogging along, jogging along...STOP! Clench cheeks. Try not to look like you're clenching. Profusely sweat. Start scoping out bushes, trees, tall grass cuz you might(will) not make it to the next "lay station". Taking inventory on what you can use as TP. Considering asking the hunky cop at the intersection to give you a ride to the nearest toilet. Then, as quickly as it hits you, it passes. You walk a few steps to make sure it is gone, and you start jogging along, jogging along.....STOP AGAIN! It's worse this time...you get the picture. The battle rages until you finally get to the porta-potty and you can...yeah. This happened to me at mile 8. Awful. Awful. Awful. This was after I had seriously considered sitting down in the middle of the road and quitting. Imagine a small child throwing a temper tantrum. That was almost me.
Then, the last hill. I can't feel my legs at this point, and Kesha is about to drive me crazy. So I take my ear buds out. The sounds of feet hitting the pavement, the deep breathing of the people around me, the cheers on the sidelines. How a race horse must feel at the Kentucky Derby. People keep saying you're almost there. I can see the finish line. It seems like it's not getting any closer, even though I have begun to run faster. Finally...finally I cross. *crowd goes wild* My amazing Mom not far behind. *the crowd goes wilder*
At first I was thinking, "I am NOT doing that again!" But, the further I get from race day, the more appealing it sounds. Why? Because I like to see how far I can push myself. Will I run a marathon? No, I'm only half crazy.
Emma's Testimony
Posted by Brianna at 12:21 PM
On the morning of Saturday July 3rd,
2010 we were preparing to take a family trip to the KC Zoo. Just before leaving I sat down to feed Emma,
when I put her up close to me I noticed that she felt warm, so after feeding
her I took her temperature, which was 103 degrees. I called my midwife Carolyn, the one who
delivered her, and asked her what I should do.
She thought that if it was just a fever, no other symptoms, that I
should just watch her and see how she did.
When I told her that Emma seemed to be breathing quickly she told me to
count her respirations, in and out would be 1, and that she should only have
45-60 respirations in a minute. Scott
timed me, and I counted her at 91.
Carolyn immediately suggested that we take her into Children’s Mercy and
have her looked at for a respiratory infection.
We decided to call some elder’s in our church to have her administered
to. Charlie Booth and Eric English came
quickly. I prayed from the moment that
we took her temperature that God would step in and heal her. I called him on
the carpet, praying “Lord you said that you would be our physician, and I’m
asking you now to heal her.” My heart cried out, yearning for Him to hear my
prayer and answer it immediately. Once
Charlie and Eric arrived, I just knew that as they laid their hands on her head
she would be healed. That I would feel
her body cool, that she would start breathing slower. All throughout their prayers I expected an
immediate healing from this infirmity.
However, once they were finished and had left, she was in just as bad a
state as before the administration. We
decided to wait another hour, and if she hadn’t improved at all we would go to
the hospital. That was the longest hour
of my life, while I continued to pray for her healing. I begged, and pleaded with the Lord to take
away her fever, to slow her breathing.
But each minute she seemed to only get worse. She wasn’t waking up, and she was limp and
pretty lethargic. At 2:00pm we called my
parents, who were already on their way, to see if they would take Weston with
them while we went to the hospital.
Once they arrived we left quickly
for Children’s Mercy, packing a small overnight bag for Weston just in case we
ended up there overnight. Both Scott and
I were hoping, that they would tell us that it was nothing major to just come
home and rest. On our way Scott called
and got a prayer chain e-mail sent out, and Marceia got the phone prayer chain
activated. We arrived at the ER at
3:30pm and were immediately seen by a triage nurse. She took Emma’s vitals, her temp was still
103, and her heart rate was over 220 beats per minute. Within minutes an ER nurse came to get us and
took us to a room where they would start an IV and do blood work. Emma’s little body was hot, and she was
almost panting. When she would open her
eyes they were glassy and she looked out of it.
The nurses came in and started asking us questions, about her birth, how
was she born, where was she born, what tests had I had during pregnancy, what
tests/shots had she had since birth, had anyone been sick that was around
her. They tried 3 times to get an IV
started, twice in one arm, once in the other, finally succeeding in her
scalp. She was dehydrated pretty
severely, and every time they would get a vein it would collapse. They got all the blood they needed and
started her on a bag of fluids. A
resident pediatrician came in and started talking to us about all the tests
that they would run, mentioning an LP or Lumbar Puncture. Which is drawing fluid out of the lower part
of the spinal cord. We had decided
before arriving at the hospital, that we in no way wanted this test to be
performed. I had read up on it, and this
test seemed to be extremely invasive, very aggressive and excruciating. After about 2 hours of asking questions,
trying to figure out how to get around the test, we finally decided against
it. They told us that if we didn’t have
it done it would be a minimum of a 21 day stay, because they had no way of
knowing if it was bacterial meningitis or not, which was their main worry. So we decided that we would stay there until
she got better, and then sign out AMA, against medical advice. We were convinced there was no possible way
she could ever have any strain of meningitis.
After making the decision to forego
the LP, they left us alone while our room was prepared. I asked if I could nurse Emma, as it had been
almost 4 hours, and they agreed that it was fine. After she ate, she was lying on my chest and
I noticed a wet feeling. I looked down and her IV had come out and she was
bleeding all over me. We called in the
nurses again, who cleaned her up, and then went about trying to get another IV
started. They were successful on their
first try in her left foot. They taped on a hard boot, and taped the IV to her
foot so that it wouldn’t pull out again.
A few minutes later, a nurse came in to start her first round of
antibiotics, one was a viral antibiotic, one a bacterial antibiotic, and
another for a severe and deadly strain of Herpes. They would administer these antibiotics every
6 hours for 48 hours, and since we decided against the LP they were probably
going to go continue them for the entire 21 day stay, since they weren’t able
to tell what was wrong with her. Since
she didn’t have any other symptoms to go with the fever, they assumed
meningitis. Before taking us to our
room, an x-ray technician came in to take an x-ray of Emma’s chest to
make sure her chest cavity wasn’t swollen, which might indicate swelling of the
heart caused from her high temperature and rapid heart rate. After just a few minutes they determined that she was ok,
and left us once again.
Once we were settled in our room,
the Senior Pediatrician came in to talk to us once again about the LP. We still were very adamant that we weren’t
going to have it done. but she further explained that we could try to sign out
AMA after Emma was better, but that they would get a court order and keep her
there anyway. She also explained that if
we refused to have it done they would have to put in a pic line IV which
increased her risk of infection, and the antibiotic for the Herpes was
extremely hard on the liver, and if they didn’t have to give it to her they
wouldn’t. But if we didn’t have the LP,
they would continue that antibiotic for the full 21 days. Seeing no way around
it we finally consented to the procedure. I had two stipulations 1 I wanted to
be in the room, and 2 I wanted to be able to touch some part of her. They agreed but made sure that I understood
that she would cry and that most parents didn’t want to be there. While they
prepped the room we called our families to let them know so they could pray
that they would be successful. Because
she was dehydrated they couldn’t promise that they would be able to get enough
fluid, they needed 4 milliliters of spinal
fluid. At 9:30pm they came to get us. They
took us back to the sterile room they had set up, there were two nurses there
just to watch, the senior resident and another nurse who had to hold Emma in
the C-Hold. I laid her down and they
began swabbing her back with Beta dine, the room was cold and unfriendly, she
cried when they swabbed her. After a few minutes the nurse grabbed her
shoulders and bottom and scrunched her forward into a tight C position, to
maximize the space between the vertebrae.
Emma was crying loudly at this point, and tears were streaming down my
face as I rubbed her head and she clutched my finger with her tiny bruised
hand. They inserted the needle just
below the spinal column in the Lumbar space, Emma’s cry became more piercing. After fishing around for a few minutes and
being unsuccessful with drawing any spinal fluid they moved to another
spot. They withdrew the needle and
reinserted it lower, Emma continuing to cry. This time they got blood, she went
ahead and got 2 milliliters, they needed four, of just solid spinal fluid and
the stuff they were taking was mostly blood.
She said they would try to run the cultures on what they had, but
chances were they would have to try again after Emma had more fluids and wasn’t
so dehydrated. I picked her up and cradled her close to me, her cries almost
immediately stopped and in exhaustion she fell asleep.
We went back to our room and
prepared for the long sleepless night ahead of us. Every hour or so they would come in and take
her temperature. While in the ER they
gave her some Tylenol, but it hadn’t worked at dropping the fever at all. At about midnight they started the second
round of antibiotics, and gave her more Tylenol, her temperature had spiked to
104. They placed cold rags all over her
naked body. But she was too tired to
even care at this point. The temp
started going down, but never getting below 101. A few hours later they checked her again, and
the temp had again gone back to 104.
They gave her a heavy dose of saline water, which was to help with
dehydration and get her temperature down.
They did this several times through the night. She had to lay in only a diaper on a pillow
on my lap, so that my body heat wasn’t warming her at all. On Sunday morning I met the pediatrician, she
was going over with us the different things they thought could be wrong with
her, bacterial meningitis, herpes (which can be passed even if there isn’t an
open lesion anywhere on the body, and it doesn’t have to be genital) enterovirus
(which goes around this time of year and is harmless to older children and
adults). Her worry was bacterial
meningitis and herpes, which can lead to death or severe brain damage. With herpes they had no way to kill or get
rid of the virus entirely, they could only weaken it and hope that Emma’s body
was strong enough to fight it off. With
bacterial meningitis, even though they were already treating her with
antibiotics for it, it could still cause brain damage. I asked her after talking with her for quite
a while “Is she going to be ok?”, and she looked at me and said “I don’t
know.” I just wanted someone to tell me
that my daughter wasn’t going to die, that she would live and be ok. But at that point they didn’t know, her
temperature wasn’t staying down, she was still very dehydrated, her heart rate
was still in the 200’s, and she was very lethargic only waking up and crying
when she was messed with. As this was
happening there were prayer services at three different branches, Oak Grove,
Atherton, and Bates City, where many prayers were offered up on
behalf of our sweet little daughter, people who had never before met our
family were offering up heartfelt
prayers on our behalf. I had been
praying from the time we took her temp to that moment that God would heal
her. That his healing angels would come
down and heal her instantly. I was so
angry with God. We prayed before the
spinal tap that they would get what they needed on the first poke. But after two pokes all they managed to get
was some bloody spinal fluid and they would likely have to draw again. I couldn’t see His hand anywhere in the
situation, and we had been praying diligently all night for a blessing. After
talking with our pediatrician my prayers changed. I was sick and felt like I was dying
inside. Scared of what was going to
happen to our precious daughter I came to Him again in prayer. “Please God, let your will be done and help
me to accept whatever that is. Please
don’t let her suffer anymore. Help me
put aside my desires for her, I lay her in Your hands.” I prayed this over and over for the next
several hours. Our pediatrician came
back to tell us they got spinal cultures back, it wasn’t growing herpes or
bacterial meningitis but the enterovirus, which was harmless to her. They couldn’t promise that nothing else would
grow but they were “cautiously optimistic” that she was ok. They would continue
trying to grow them for at least 48 hours and then would know for certain what
was wrong with her. The nurses came in
and gave Emma some Motrin, to hopefully help with the fever. In less than an hour after I prayed her fever
started dropping. 103, 102, 101,
100. It hadn’t been 100 since we arrived
at the hospital. It finally reached 99,
and stayed there all day, her heart rate dropped, and she wasn’t breathing so
quickly, she looked peaceful for the first time. Her color improved. From the moment I prayed that God’s will
would be done, she turned a corner and continued improving. They were going to continue the viral and
bacterial antibiotics for another 24 hours, but stopped the antibiotic that was
for the Herpes virus. That afternoon they were going to try to draw some blood
samples a liver and kidney test (because the enterovirus is extremely hard on
them), an electrolyte test, and a blood clotting test. Our nurse and the charge nurse came to draw
the blood. After 3 unsuccessful attempts
and 2 blown veins, they decided to call in the ER nurses to do it because they
drew blood all the time. A few hours
later two ER nurses came in, the two we had when we first arrived at the
hospital, after two failed attempts and another blown vein they decided to call
in the Life Flight Transport team. Dad
and Uncle Johnny arrived at this point and offered up an administration just
before they were to draw blood again.
After they finished praying two men in their life flight jumpsuits came
in to draw the blood. One failed attempt
in the arm, they were finally able to get a vein in her scalp. They drew the blood for the kidney and liver
test but her vein collapsed before they got to the blood clotting one. They decided that they got the blood for the
two most important tests and that they would be happy with that. Emma was exhausted from the afternoon and
woke only when I woke her to nurse. She
would nurse for maybe 5 minutes and then fall back asleep. She still looked peaceful, even though the
afternoon had been rough and kind of traumatic.
They let us be the rest of the day, allowing her to rest. It was decided that they didn’t need to draw
anymore spinal fluid, that what they were able to get was sufficient. Later that evening her temperature hit 100
again, and they gave her Tylenol. It
stayed at 99 all night, they continued administering the two antibiotics
through the night, but they didn’t have to do anymore Saline flushes. At 3 in the morning her temp hit 101 and they
gave her more Tylenol. It dropped to
98.5 and stayed there the rest of the time we were at the hospital. On Monday morning she was awake for 1 hour
and 45 minutes. Her nursing was picking
up and she was bright-eyed and happy. In
the early afternoon, the Vascular team came in to try and draw blood again. They tried in one arm and were able to get
one viale full, she blew a vein but they continued to try and milk blood from
her arm, pushing the needle past the collapsed part. They tried again in her other arm and were
able to get all of the blood they needed for all 3 tests. She rested until later in the evening and
then was awake again for 1 hour and 45 minutes.
It was good to see her eyes bright, not dull and glazed over. We had to take her to get a stomach x-ray, to
make sure that her intestines were ok. Because her illness was contagious,
before we left the room we had to drape Emma in a sterile yellow robe, that
anyone who came in contact with her had to wear. Once in the x-ray room we
placed Emma in the sitting position on a small cold table elevated about waist
level, they draped the lead blanket over her legs while I held her body up.
After taking x-rays from the front, back, and sides we were taken back to the
room to wait for the results. The rest of the day we were able to just rest,
and enjoy being a family. Mom and dad brought Weston up, and I left Emma with
Dad so that I could spend a little bit of time alone with Weston. He was such a
trooper through it all.
Emma’s temp continued to stay down
and she was nursing more and more, which meant she needed less and less IV
fluids. They stopped the antibiotic for
the bacterial infection and kept her only on the one for the viral infection,
just to support her body as it fought off the enterovirus. Tuesday morning the
pediatrician came back in to talk with us, and said that if things continued to
go well, that we more than likely could leave that day. Her temp had to be down
for 24 hours without the aid of Tylenol or Motrin, and she had to have an Echo,
or heart ultrasound, which had to come back clear. They thoroughly checked all
the chambers and tissues of the heart to look for swelling and any other
abnormalities that may have occurred from her being so sick. That took about an
hour, Emma cried most of the time, she didn’t like to be laid down. For our
entire stay I had held her, only laying her down when they needed to do blood
work or an x-ray. It gave me strength to
hold her. After the echo we again went back to the room to wait for the
results. Later that day the results came
back perfectly normal, and we began the process of discharging. As I held her
and they told us that we could go home, it was like holding her again for the
first time. Her eyes shined, she looked bright and alive. It was beautiful. We
left for home, but I didn’t want to wait for Mom to bring Weston to us, so we
drove immediately out to their house.
The next weeks were difficult to
adjust to. I was worried that Emma was going to get ill again, and Weston had
to readjust to our new family member. It was a strengthening journey, one that
I will never forget.
Where are you God?
Posted by Brianna at 2:24 PM
Newborns. Babies. Chunky Monkeys. Infants. Squishy Cheekies. Chunka Dunk (I very lovingly call my niece this). No matter what you choose to call the little one's, I think we can all agree that they.are.awesome. The way they smell, smile, cry, and curl themselves into a tiny ball when you pick them up, it's all just so wonderful. What I especially love is that dreamy smile they give you in their sleep. Their eyes flutter, their breathing quickens, and then a perfect smile spreads across their delicate face. *Bliss*
They do it frequently as newborns, and then they slowly stop. But when do they stop completely? Why do they do it in the first place? I have heard two things, (1) gas, and (2) they are so fresh from the courts of heaven, that they go there in their dreams. I believe the latter. Here is why....
When Wes was almost 2, he had come into Scott and my room one morning, as he usually did. It was early and he was peacefully sleeping; up to this point in his life, he continued the sleepy, peaceful smiles. Emma had woken to nurse, and as I sat nursing her, Wes started wimpering, "God, where are you?" He sat up, his eyes half open, crying, almost like he was afraid. "Where are you God?!" "God?!" He carried on for a minute or two, then lay back down, and continued sleeping. As if nothing had happened.
I have never seen that dreamy smile again. My heart ached. Was this the separation from God we all must go through, the separation Adam and Eve experienced in the garden? Was my sweet little prince able to walk and talk with God in his dreams? I think so. Maybe you don't agree, and that is OK.
The next time you see your little love(s) giving you that peaceful glimpse into heaven, don't take it for granted. Cherish it, like a precious jewel.
About Me
- Brianna
- I am stay-at-home mommy to'Bug' and 'Tator'. Wife to Scott, a daughter and a sister. Bradley teacher and a doula. This is my blog about it all.
Kids Say the Darndest Things!
Wes to Aunt Pally - "I haven't seen your boobs in a hundred years."
Me - "We won't get to see this train, Bug."
Wes - "Oh no, it's gonna be gone forever!"
Emma as she pulls off diaper - "Oopy, oopy." (translation, poopy, poopy)
Mercy when I ask her to say my name - "TssssTssss."
Weston - "Mommy, I want a nosestache."
Me - "You mean a 'moustache'?"
Weston - "No, a NOSEstache."
Me - "We won't get to see this train, Bug."
Wes - "Oh no, it's gonna be gone forever!"
Emma as she pulls off diaper - "Oopy, oopy." (translation, poopy, poopy)
Mercy when I ask her to say my name - "TssssTssss."
Weston - "Mommy, I want a nosestache."
Me - "You mean a 'moustache'?"
Weston - "No, a NOSEstache."
Blog archive
Bloggies I Favor
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Smoke 'Em If You Got 'Em.8 years ago
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Dear Baby Hank10 years ago
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Today is....12 years ago
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Movies, Books, and Other Shtuff
- Books - Birth and parenting, that's all I get into.
- Movies - Nothing scary...or pornographic. My flavorite movie of all time is "I love you, Man."
- Music - Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Louis Armstrong, Ella Fitzgerald, Sammy Davis, Michael Buble, Josh Groban, Kesha, Katy Perry, Pink, Lady Gaga, The Pogues, Flogging Molly, LMFAO...basically anything, except Screamo. That stuff is nasty.
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